Misplaced anger, all of us have been guilty at one time or another, some of us might be guilty of it right now. What does misplaced anger look like? It is an individual who has placed their anger, their frustration, their disappointments, their animosity towards an individual or individuals instead of the placing their emotional distresses where they actually belong – more times than not their emotional distresses should be refocused to reflect on themselves. Let me prove my point and make this discourse much clearer.
Example one – a woman is angry at the man she had a child with because he doesn’t help out with the child emotionally or monetarily. Someone is saying, “That’s a good reason to be frustrated, disappointed, and angry.” And I would say, “You’re right.” The question begs where should those emotions be focused? Let me ask a few questions that must be answered first – when you decided to have children with this man, was he responsible? Did he meet your emotional needs? Does he have other children and does he emotionally and physically take care of them? The honest answer is probably “no”. So in truth he is still the same man, you simply want him to be different, better because the circumstances have changed. While I can appreciate that desire I still have to ask what character traits existed that would lead you to believe that this was possible? Aren’t you really angry at yourself for having made such a bad choice to begin with and for you having unrealistic expectations?
Example two – you meet a man or a woman who was already involved with a person and they cheat on them with you, eventually they end up leaving the other person to be with you and then surprise, surprise they cheat on you. You’re angry with that person. Is your anger misplaced? If he or she will cheat on their partner to be with you, what would you make you so special that you believed they wouldn’t cheat on you? I don’t care if they promised you they wouldn’t what in their DNA did you have access to that made you believe it would be different with you? Misplaced anger. Aren’t you really angry with yourself for allowing yourself to be with a cheater? And aren’t you just a little disappointed with yourself that you helped him or her cheat with you? You dated a cheater and they continued to cheat on you, what a big surprise!
Example three – a friend tells you other people businesses that he or she was sworn to secrecy not to tell. You subsequently find out the things you’ve told that same person in secret has been told to others and you’re angry with them blaming them for all your private information being revealed. Misplaced? Right. If they will tell you things other people swore them to secrecy why would you trust that your stuff would remain private? Are you not angry with yourself for trusting someone so untrustworthy with your personal deep secrets in the first place? Aren’t you just a little disappointed with yourself for sharing those intimate details with that person when if honest you knew better?